Monday, 17 July 2017

A Note On Body Image.

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On not always being positive about body image.

Jumping right into the deep end, I'm starting this post off with a truth-bomb: I'm scared - wait, no, scratch that - I'm terrified to share this post and these outfit photos with the world. You see, body image is a subject that is very close to my heart, and my relationship with my own body image is one that is more than a little bit complicated. This set of photos portrays said complicated relationship so significantly that consequently; I have been musing on body image and how I feel about coming to terms with the fact that it's not something I'm always going to feel positive about. Let me explain.

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Let's start with the photos. Sometimes it's so freakin' hard to look at photos of yourself; the woes of being a style blogger, eh? There have been countless times where, in my head, I've been killing it during an outfit shoot, then when later reviewing the photos it can be easy to spiral into a pit of self-hatred asking, "is that what I really look like?" These photos handed me one of those said moments on a plate; for literal weeks I have been reluctant about sharing them. They step boldly outside of my comfort zone. They highlight all kinds of flaws and insecurities that I usually strive to keep hidden.

Without a word of a lie, I'm aware that these insecurities of mine have heightened since sharing my image across my blog and social media. In the past, I've talked about how Instagram plays havoc with my self-esteem. Since the very moment that I dipped toes into this industry, my relationship with my own body image became even more complex than it already was. I have acknowledged, and still often struggle with the fact that I just don't look like your typical blogger/Insta-babe. I don't have beachy blonde waves, I don't have a chiseled jaw and I certainly don't have tanned legs for days. I'm actually ghostly pale, I have a crooked nose, my legs are kinda stumpy and my weak chin really lets down my side profile. Heh.

And yet, I continue to share images of myself online. I share shameless selfies on Instagram, I thoroughly enjoy curating style content for my blog which, of course, will typically be packed full of photos of me parading around in my latest style obsession. You see, the thing with body image is that, it's actually okay to not feel positive about it all of the time. Sure, confidence is a wonderful thing; but the reality is, we're all humans and we're all going to have shitty days. We're always going to have those days where we scroll aimlessly through our Instagram feeds, comparing our figures with bikini-clad Insta-models whilst we're crying into our pizzas. Newsflash: the bikini-clad Insta-models even have those days, too.

The photos attached to this post are truly wonderful shots (thanks, Adam). If you are none-the-wiser, I likely seem calm, confident and collected. And yet, I initially took one look at myself in these photos and very nearly binned the lot. That's why I feel they are so significant to the subject of body image and why I feel that they are the epitome of the complicated relationship with my own. They represent my shitty, low self-esteem days; yet choosing to share them anyway represents me coming to terms with that inevitability, but refusing to allow it to take over. At the end of the day, body image and the journey to accepting yourself as you are is a lengthy, damn difficult process with a ton of ups and downs along the way. And I simply wanted to write this post to tell you and to reassure you (and myself) when you need it; that that is okay.

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What your thoughts on body image?

Katy Belle.
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